I hope you never forget what you're about to read. I wish I had someone tell me this when I was a girl:
As women and girls there's so many messages we get everyday as to what is expected of us. What we 'should' act like, look like, believe, achieve; overall how we 'should' live our lives...even who we 'should' love....
That last one is so important. It's, unfortunately, a common experience for us to get lost in taking care of everything and satisfy everyone else except ourselves. We put off things we enjoy, quality time with those that matter, dreams we've wanted to live see come true, neglect our PHYSICAL AND MENTAL NEEDS, feel forced to/push through treatment/situations we aren't comfortable accepting...all because of the implied pressures that come from the media/our culture/community/society, friends, families, co-workers, neighbors, doctors, the boy/man in our life and on the list goes.
Personally I was raised, as the oldest of my siblings, to look after everything and everyone but myself. Throughout my childhood and early adulthood I did just that. I was taught a good girl/woman is there when you need her, is kind, respectful, resourceful, obedient, considerate and responsible.
Anyone I crossed paths with - saw every day or once in a while, even people I didn't know personally or knew I would never meet again - had feelings, needs and wishes that were more important than mine. I said "yes", "okay", "sure", "yep", "of course", "it's fine", listened, hesitated, did and stayed in countless instances and relationships where I wanted/needed/my intuition told me to do/say the opposite, walk away or stand up for myself. It was so much easier satisfying the other person's obvious wishes/expectations/entitlement/ego than God forbid saying aloud or acting out how I wasn't comfortable/capable of saying/doing whatever it was. I was taken advantage of, disrespected, ignored, and unappreciated just about everywhere I went regardless of who the other person/people was.
I reached a point where my body shut down and forced me to stop all of that and start over. I LITERALLY COULD NOT LIVE IF I DID NOT CHANGE HOW I WAS TREATING MY BODY, HOW I THOUGHT AND HOW I ACTED. No more constantly/consistently saying yes when I WASN'T okay with saying so. No more NEGLECTING MY FEELINGS, WANTS AND NEEDS because I am NOT responsible for the other person. My dreams are no longer on hold. I'm doing and feeling better physically and mentally! I eat better, sleep better, LIVE better. Overall, Boss Lillies, I LOVE MYSELF BETTER!!
SELF LOVE is my lesson to you today. Don't wait until your body makes you reset your life, like mine did, to SHOW YOURSELF LOVE. Do, say, and think in ways that make YOU feel GOOD about YOU. I still have my moments and my days - that's completely okay, not every moment goes the way you want. And if ever you completely end up walking down the wrong road it will never be too late to turn around, find your way, and continue on your right road to self love.